Date: 2010-06-09 16:28 Security: Public Tags: big posts, futureme, self-reflection, transgender issues Subject: I was told to do this.

Someone I know is staring at me;
and when I look into her eyes,
I see the girl that I used to be;
I hardly recognise.
'cuz in the space of a year,
I've watched the old me disappear;
All of the things I once held precious
just don't mean anything, anymore,
'cuz suddenly...

You came, and changed the way I feel;
No one could love you more,
because you came and turned my life around;
No one could take your place.

-- Kim Wilde, "You Came"

I just got an email that I want to share with you. Although I haven't specifically asked the sender for permission (and I can no longer do so), and they never explicitly gave me permission, I think I'm allowed to do this.

You see, it's from myself in the past.

( The email from my past self )

I had forgotten I had written this email to myself using FutureMe. I kind of wish I could reply and tell myself all about what I've been through this past year. Of course, I can't, so I'll do the next best thing: doing what my past self asked me to do and reflecting on this past year, and on how things are now.

( Reflections )

I finished off the post I linked in the email by saying:

This move, in short, is going to be extremely stressful for me, and will be the cause of a lot of stress, anxiety and pain... but ultimately it's the right thing to do.

And indeed it was. A lot has changed in a year. In fact, when I realised that the song "You Came" by Kim Wilde fit perfectly into this situation, I just had to go add it to the start of this post. It describes things so well.

Now I've just got to keep rolling, and see where I end up next.

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